Meditation today. Sitting. Focus on breath. Mantra comes in but I drop it today. Thoughts come in and I keep coming back to breath. Slight pain in upper right back for a short time but this soon goes away. Aware of a struggle between a part of my mind that has decided it’s sitting there for an hour and another part that wants to flit about and ‘do’ something else instead.
Keep coming back to breath when I notice I’ve forgotten to watch it. And aware of breath coming in through nose and allowing my breath to do its own thing and not interfering. And there is a mild tension that is familiar and to do with a desire to be somewhere else or better or different. I notice it and feel it as tightness in my belly and let it go. And then notice it as tension in my forehead. Then feeling hot and slightly nauseous and remain sitting and allow the feeling and know that it is connected to my resistance to what I’m doing.
Then the breath deepens and I feel a letting go of something and a feeling of relaxation comes and I’m aware of a slight smile on my face and a sense of arrival. I notice that I’m using a three-part visualisation, inspired by the Barefoot Doctor, of a point of light behind my belly button, an image of me seated in meditation pose on cushions in a temple in the centre of my head and light radiating out from the heart area. I allow these images to be there and keep following the breath. When alarm goes I’m feeling still and settled.
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